Tag Archives: Melbourne

9.4 Fare Game

Posted on by
10

espresso2Driver ordered his coffee and dialled Punter’s number.

‘Hey,’ he said, when Punter greeted him. ‘Has anyone called you yet?’

‘No,’ Punter replied. ‘What about?’

‘Me and Postman,’ Driver said. ‘He pushed me around this morning and crashed my car.’

‘No! Really? Are you alright?’

‘Yeah, really,’ Driver confirmed. ‘And I’m fine. But are you surprised? That surprised? The man’s not well.’

‘Oh, I agree he’s not well. But I thought he was more gutless than that. In a strange way I’m impressed.’

Driver laughed. ‘I don’t think he’d have tried it with you, Punter, but I’m smaller. I’m an easier target, so don’t give him too much credit.’

Punter chuckled in reply.

‘But anyway,’ Driver continued, ‘if he hadn’t already, surely he must have written the final chapter in his political career.’

‘You’d think so, wouldn’t you?’ Punter replied. ‘Tell me the details, though. Convince me you’re alright. And how’d he crash your car?’

Driver went through his story again. Even though it was still less than an hour old, he’d already told it to me, the police and Minnie, so at the fourth telling it had long since started to sound stale to him. And despite having been the direct victim of Postman’s pointless rage, it all seemed like someone else’s problem. It all seemed like Punter’s problem. With Postman in the lock-up, politically terminal, it seemed solved. Whereas his own problems with Minnie were not solved, no matter what they’d just said to each other.

‘Listen, Punter,’ Driver added once the Postman narrative was complete, ‘I’ve already told my journalist mate. Is that okay with you?’

‘Why him?’ Punter asked. ‘He doesn’t do this kind of stuff, does he?’

‘I just wanted to give him the story first. And I thought it was safer with him, if you know what I mean.’

‘Yeah, I do. And that’s fine. Thanks for thinking of that,’ Punter replied. ‘But it doesn’t matter anyway because from what you’ve told me it’ll be all over the media before the hour’s out. The cops will leak it if no one else does.’

‘I haven’t checked online, but I reckon it’ll go up any minute,’ Driver said. ‘I’ll check when we finish.’

‘I won’t say anything, by the way. Even if they ask me – even when they ask me – I’m not going to say a word.’

‘I didn’t mention you. Why will they call?’

‘They’ll know. Someone’ll know.’

Clearly, Punter underestimated my talent for lending a veneer of sordid mediocrity to the whole event.

Driver took a sip of his espresso which had been silently placed before him as he spoke. He signalled his approval to the barista, who’d come out from behind the counter to deliver the coffee personally, since Driver was the only customer. He kissed the tips of three fingers before opening his palm like the petals of a flower, as if to say bellissimo. Truthfully, he was thinking, it was okay, but not that good.

‘But I’ve got a question for you,’ Punter said. ‘Why were you driving anyway? I thought you gave up on Cup day?’

Driver laughed. ‘That’s exactly what Minnie said.’

‘Well, she’s got a good point.’

‘I was just trying to do a final few days. Don’t try to read anything into it, Punter, because there isn’t any hidden meaning.’

‘Don’t read anything into it? Says you!’

‘I haven’t changed my mind, Punter. I’m still giving up. In fact, with my car all banged out of shape, I’ve given up. I’m done.’

‘Ah-ha,’ Punter replied, the scepticism coating his words like honey.

Driver knew he was being hypocritical asking Punter not to read anything into it, but that didn’t stop him taking offence, or at least feigning it. ‘Hey,’ he complained, ‘I liked it better when you were my mate and you supported me.’ Driver was remembering Punter’s hoo-fucken-ray comment at the races.

‘I am supporting you.’

‘Yeah, fair enough,’ Driver replied. He waved his hand dismissively, for his own benefit since Punter clearly couldn’t see it. Because he was determined not to be angry. In the wake of his morning’s adventures he was feeling a faint sense of lightness and release. A sense of the potential for resolution, somehow. As if fate was reinforcing that now was the right time to stop.

‘I put the licence up for sale yesterday. I don’t expect anyone will buy it, with the rumours about the massive drop in value your taxi industry enquiry buddy is recommending. But it’s up for sale anyway.’

‘Good,’ Punter replied. ‘And I’m not even going to comment about your dig about the enquiry.’

‘That’s big of you,’ Driver snorted. ‘I could always keep it and get someone else to drive for me. That would at least give me an income.’

‘Don’t do that,’ Punter said. ‘You’re just giving yourself a crutch, a way back to driving if you get nervous about the change.’

‘Why are you being so cynical this morning?’

‘I’m not being cynical Driver. You need a clean break.’

Driver knew his friend was right. Even if financially it made more sense to hang onto the licence, he knew the main reason for keeping it was to give him a fall-back.

‘Do you want my advice?’ Punter offered, when Driver’s silence confirmed he’d read his friend’s motives correctly

‘I probably can’t say no, can I?’

‘Do you want my advice?’ Punter repeated, expecting an unconditionally affirmative response.

But Driver didn’t want his advice, because he knew what it was going to be. ‘Sure,’ he said. ‘What’ve you got for me?’

‘Go back to law,’ Punter said. ‘Please, for your own sake, go back to law. You were good at it Driver. Very good.’

‘You’re sounding like Minnie again.’

‘Well, there’s a reason for that. She’s right most of the time, isn’t she?’

Driver still hadn’t told Punter about his discovery of Minnie and her friend sharing an intimate moment earlier in the week. He felt guilty hiding it from him when Punter had been so open about his own troubles with Stephanie. But the comparison gave Driver pause to consider something he hadn’t previously contemplated. What if he’d jumped to the wrong conclusion about Minnie? Whereas Punter knew what was going on between Steph and Postman, Driver had only seen Minnie sitting across a table in a café from this other man and, from that, assumed the worst. But maybe he was wrong? Maybe they were only meeting for coffee? For the first time? Maybe there was nothing to it, after all?

He shook his head silently. Maybe her eyes sparkle as she holds hands with all the doctors she works with, when they meet in a café across the other side of the city from the hospital?

‘Have you got an answer for me?’ Punter asked. ‘Why have you gone quiet?’

‘No reason,’ Driver replied. ‘And you’re right about Minnie, too.’ He downed the remainder of his coffee. ‘Do you know what she suggested I do now? She suggested I catch the train home this morning so I get into practice for my future commute.’

Punter laughed. ‘So she wants you to work in the city as well? She doesn’t want you to go back to the old Footscray office?’

‘Apparently not. But I’ve been out a while. It may not be that easy to step straight in again.’

‘Yes it will, Driver. They’ll be opening the door for you,’ Punter replied. ‘I’ll help. That’s something I can help with.’

‘Before we get to that, what you said on Tuesday when I announced I’d quit driving …’ Driver purposefully left his words hanging.

‘What about it?’

‘Well, I thought you were on my side about the taxi. I thought you agreed with me.’

‘I did,’ Punter said. ‘At the time.’

‘At the time?’ When did you stop?’

‘I don’t know, Driver. Years ago.’

‘What?’ Driver was genuinely stunned. ‘Years ago?’

‘Yes, years ago.’

‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ Driver challenged him. ‘If my closest friend can’t tell me that he thinks I’m wasting my time with my life, what does that say about me?’

‘Driver, you don’t know yourself if you have to ask me that.’

Punter’s voice carried no hint of accusation. No hint of frustration or surprise or disappointment. He was being sincere and Driver heard it clearly.

‘What do you mean?’ Driver asked. He picked up his coffee and looked wistfully into the empty cup.

‘I mean you’re so passionate about the things you do that your own advice is the only advice that matters. It’s not important what I think.’

‘I’d listen to you, Punter. You know I would.’

‘What about Minnie? You haven’t listened to her?’

‘Hmmm …’ The sense of lightness and release Driver had felt just a few minutes earlier had been replaced by a feeling he’d just dodged a bullet. If he’d been so alarmingly wrong about his career choices those last few years, maybe he was lucky Minnie had stayed with him at all?

‘So don’t be stupid Driver, take my help. Don’t even think of not taking my help. I’ll make some phone calls.’

‘When you’re safely re-elected.’

‘Exactly.’

‘Alright, that’d be great, Punter. Thank you.’

‘It’s turned out alright, hasn’t it?’ Punter suggested.

‘For you, do you mean?’

‘And you. What have you got to be miserable about? Did Postman add another whack to your head?’

‘No.’ Driver didn’t want to say any more. He didn’t want to explain to Punter why he felt so flat.

‘Well?’

‘Well nothing. You’re right. Everything’s turned out fine. Or it will have once I know the baby and Minnie are healthy and safe.’

But Punter knew his friend too well.

‘Driver, is there something else you’re not telling me?’

‘No, no,’ Driver replied, trying to sound untroubled. ‘Not a thing. I’m just going to be relieved when the baby is delivered safely and both she and Minnie are happy and healthy. You can understand that, can’t you?’

‘Yeah, that’s fair enough,’ Punter conceded. ‘Give my best to Minnie. Wish her luck. Give her a kiss from me.’

‘I will, Punter. I will.’ Driver said. ‘And thanks, okay?’

‘It’s important Driver. I love you and you need my help.’

‘That’s true. And I love you too.’

After they hung up, Driver sat at the small table on Degraves Street and watched suited workers swarm out of the underpass from Flinders Street Railway Station. He signalled to the barista for another coffee. It was not yet 7:30am and these men and women in their suits and business wear were almost running to get to their desks. A scant few stopped to pick up a take away. But the rest, the overwhelming majority, were in too much of a hurry to get to work and clock up some more billable hours. Just as they’d done the day before and just as they’d do the next day. The next week. The next year. Did Driver want that? Was that right for him? Did he have a choice?

He stood up from the table, walked out a couple of steps into the suited throng and just stood there looking back at his small table. People brushed by him, frowns having appeared on their brows that this man, a taxi driver by the look of him, had stepped out and planted himself directly in their path. He was like a jagged rock disrupting the incoming tide, causing them to ripple and break their progress to shore.

The barista placed Driver’s fresh espresso on the table and pulled out his chair. Driver smiled at him. It was more personal service than he thought he deserved and the coffee was better than he wanted to admit. He threaded his way back through the current and sat down again. He quietly sipped his coffee as he flicked out his phone and opened the newspaper’s mobile app to search for the online version of my story about him and Postman.

This is episode 28 of Fare Game. After this, there’s only two more. Two! Earlier posts can be found by clicking on the Archives or Categories links to the right of the page.

© Mick McCoy, 2013

9.2 Fare Game

Posted on by
Reply

NewsFrank Postman resigns after CBD assault and affray
Goading Columnist

Frank Postman, the Shadow Minister for Transport and Racing, resigned yesterday after assaulting a taxi driver, Mr Driver Ancelotti, and causing a collision between Mr Ancelotti’s taxi and two parked cars, outside the Westin hotel in Collins Street in the Melbourne CBD. One of the parked cars was a Victoria Police patrol car. Mr Postman was later charged with assault and affray.

Following his release later in the day from police custody, Mr Postman announced his resignation, effective immediately, throwing his party into further turmoil in the week before the state election.

It appears Mr Postman targeted Mr Ancelotti specifically. An unknown female booked the taxi under a false name for a 6am trip to Tullamarine airport. The woman, claiming to be Mr Postman’s personal assistant, made the booking directly with Mr Ancelotti, rather than through the general taxi booking service.

When Mr Ancelotti arrived at the Westin yesterday morning to pick up his passenger, the troubled politician confronted Mr Ancelotti, forcibly pushing the taxi driver in the chest. Mr Ancelotti stumbled in an effort to regain his balance, Mr Postman’s assault resulting in distancing Mr Ancelotti from his taxi.

Mr Postman then released the taxi’s handbrake, after which the unmanned vehicle rolled down Collins Street towards Swanston Street. The taxi collided first with a hotel patron’s car, parked on the side of the road, and then with the police patrol car. No one was injured in the collisions.

The Victoria Police patrol car had been left at the Collins Street location only ten minutes earlier, with the police officers in charge of the having attended a disturbance at McDonalds in the Town Hall Square. The officers were in the process of returning to their patrol car and had just arrived on the footpath adjacent their vehicle as the taxi began its twenty metre unmanned journey down the Collins Street hill from outside the Regent theatre, neighbouring the Westin hotel.

A staff member from the Westin, Mr Ever Vigilant, was standing at the driveway entrance to the hotel while the drama unfolded. Mr Vigilant also witnessed the progress of the taxi as it collided with the hotel guest’s car and the police patrol car, as well as the altercation between the two men that preceded and followed it.

Mr Vigilant had been alerted to the developing altercation when, from his post outside the hotel’s front doors, he heard raised voices on Collins Street, immediately prior to Mr Postman’s alleged initial assault on Mr Ancelotti. Mr Vigilant arrived on the footpath to see Mr Postman advancing on the taxi driver who, he said, was standing by the taxi’s open front door.

The politician was talking to the taxi driver with ‘a raised and belligerent voice’ according to Mr Vigilant. He described Mr Postman as ‘a very arrogant man’.

Mr Vigilant said he did not see Mr Ancelotti acting either violently or in a threatening manner towards Mr Postman. Mr Vigilant said that he saw Mr Postman forcibly push the taxi driver away from his taxi then lean inside the taxi’s open front window, after which the taxi rolled down the road and collided with the parked cars.

After the collision of Mr Ancelotti’s taxi with the parked cars, Mr Vigilant saw Mr Postman approach Mr Ancelotti for a second time and grab the taxi driver with both hands by the front of his shirt. Mr Vigilant added that Mr Postman ‘raised a fist as if he was about to punch’ the taxi driver.

He said that as Mr Postman’s assault of Mr Ancelotti was proceeding, the two Victoria Police officers, Constables Robert Bobby and Thomas Beat, ran up Collins Street from their stricken vehicle, past the hotel entrance where he was standing, and towards the altercation.

Mr Vigilant said that it seemed Mr Postman had not been aware of the presence of the two constables. He alleges that when Mr Postman finally did hear the constable’s approaching steps and their calls for him to release Mr Ancelotti, the politician initially attempted to evade arrest by running up Collins Street away from the police officers.

Mr Postman was arrested at the scene by the police officers before being taken to the Melbourne East Police Station on Flinders Lane. Mr Postman was formally charged with assault and affray, as well as wilful and negligent damage to provide and public property. He was later released under his own recognisance.

Immediately after his release from custody, a more sober Mr Postman announced his resignation on the steps of the Flinders Lane Police Station. Surrounded by media representatives, Mr Postman cut a solitary figure, with neither his wife and family, nor any of his political colleagues being at his side.

This latest disturbance comes less than a week after Mr Postman claimed, during a private pre-Derby Day function at the prestigious Tulloch Club last Friday night, that gay people where a greater economic burden on society than cigarette smokers. Those remarks were recorded by an audience member and quickly made public through a YouTube video.

In the YouTube video Mr Postman can clearly be heard to say that the homosexual lifestyle results in a shortening of a person’s lifespan amounting to at least twice the number of years as that caused by cigarette smoking. The economic consequences of the homosexual lifestyle, Mr Postman goes on to say, ‘eats into not just their own pockets, but into the pockets of each and every normal Australian.’

Within thirty minutes of Mr Postman’s release and resignation, the leader of the Victorian opposition, Mr Hasn’t A Chance, issued a statement on the steps of parliament. In stark contrast to Mr Postman’s earlier companionless address, at Mr Chance’s side were senior members of his shadow ministry. It was a clear but unsuccessful attempt to demonstrate party unity during an election campaign that has been wracked by internal conflict and ill-discipline, ahead of next Saturday’s state election.

‘Frank Postman today offered me his resignation, effective immediately, from his parliamentary duties, his representation of the people of his electorate and from the party in general. I have accepted that resignation,’ Mr Chance said.

‘We are fortunate to have a deep vein of talent within the ranks of the party and the people of Mr Postman’s electorate will not want for the highest quality of representation in the most diligent pursuit of their interests. I am delighted to announce the appointment of Mr New Talking Head.’

‘And let me take this opportunity to assure you that despite the unfortunate timing of this ascension by Mr Talking Head, he has been groomed for this very role for some time. Our party is not about individual personalities but about sound principles, good policy and affirmative action. Our party is about moving Victoria forward.’

‘Accordingly,’ Mr Chance concluded, ‘this change should not be seen as a knee-jerk reaction to recent events, but rather as a minor variation to the schedule of an otherwise pre-determined transition of responsibility. A transition, I might add, that Mr Postman had been privy to and had whole-heartedly accepted, well before this last week.’

Mr Postman’s replacement, Mr Talking Head, was not available for comment last night. It is understood Mr Talking Head has been on holiday in Bangkok and, at the time of the announcement, was en route from Thailand back to Australia. Mr Talking Head was due to touch down at Tullamarine in the early hours of this morning.

Mr Ancelotti, the victim of the assault by Mr Postman, insisted he was unhurt in the scuffle that both preceded and followed Mr Postman taking control of his taxi. While temporarily fearing for his own safety during the sometimes heated confrontation, after the event he expressed greater concern for the mental health of his assailant.

‘You can only wonder at the pressures these people must be under that lead them to suddenly crack like that,’ Mr Ancelotti said. ‘I just hope he gets the help and care he obviously so desperately needs.’

Mr Ancelotti said he was unaware of any reason why he might have been singled-out for this rough treatment by Mr Postman.

Following his announcement on the steps of the Flinders Lane Police Station, Mr Postman was also not available later in the day for further comment. Equally, in the wake of Mr Chance’s formal acceptance of Mr Postman’s resignation, former party colleagues and a rapidly dwindling group of previous supporters of Mr Postman also remained tight-lipped.

Political analysts have been quick to reinforce the position of all media commentators in dismissing Mr Chance’s claim that Mr Postman’s departure was no more than a matter of timing. They are unanimous in their assessment that as a result of this last embarrassing, hostile and, on this occasion, bellicose public act from Mr Postman, the electoral backlash at next Saturdays polls will only worsen.

Mr Talking Head, they say, faces an unwinnable fight in Mr Postman’s previously safe inner bay side electorate. They question the logic of Mr Talking Head’s presence in Bangkok, on a holiday rather than business, in the week before an election, and suggest it is clear evidence that his replacement of Mr Postman was not planned to take place any time soon.

With only eight days remaining before the state election, the entire Victorian public will not have to wait long to find out whether the predictions of electoral catastrophe for Mr Talking Head, Mr Chance and their embattled opposition party are accurate.

This is episode 26 of Fare Game. Earlier posts can be found by clicking on the Archives or Categories links to the right of the page.

© Mick McCoy, 2013

 

9.1 Fare Game

Posted on by
2
City_Square,_Melbourne,_Australia

City Square, Melbourne, by Mat Connolley, Wikimedia Commons

While all this was going on I had my own dramas to contend with. Nothing as personal as those confronting Driver and his loved ones but dramas none the less. They were caused by my ‘goading’ columns, as Driver so succinctly described them, when he first picked me up at the airport and drove me into work all those years ago. News often involves describing the deeds and declamations of people who would be ashamed of having those deeds and declamations made public. I’d have loved to have been the first to get my hands on the recording of Frank Postman’s unwise words, for example, but some things are better consumed live, accompanied by sound and vision, than just in print. Either way, the public has a right to know and even if that’s after a YouTube premiere, my colleagues and I get paid for exposing events that are in the public interest. Besides, there’s always a back story. Continue reading →

8.2 Fare Game

Posted on by
2
Red light: Photo Nut 2011, Creative Commons

Red light: Photo Nut 2011, Creative Commons

The following morning, after showering and dressing almost wordlessly, Driver and Minnie made their way first to a café in Docklands where Punter had decided they ought to meet for breakfast. It was the last thing that either of them wanted to do, but they agreed for the same reasons that led to them agreeing to attend the races afterwards, and because they thought they should be there to support the ongoing rehab of Punter and Steph’s relationship. So Driver booked a taxi, they were picked up and delivered to the café with the minimum of fuss and they ate a perfectly pleasant breakfast with Punter and Steph, who were in such affectedly high spirits that they seemed not to notice that Driver and Minnie were so quiet. They barely even mentioned the gash on Driver’s head. Continue reading →

Street Art

Posted on by
2

There was a story in one of the local newspapers a couple of weeks back about a visiting dancer and her impressions of Melbourne. One of the things she highlighted was the street art and, to illustrate her point, she had her picture taken against the backdrop of a piece of art by Taylor White in a Fitzroy street.taylor-white-46

That’s just a brilliant piece of work, I reckon. (And that’s not the dancer sitting in front of the doorway, it’s the artist, I think.) Continue reading →

7.1 Fare Game

Posted on by
4

espresso2Driver got himself too pissed on Saturday night to get up early for a ride on Sunday morning. As a younger man a long ride the morning after a big session was his preferred, most reliable hangover cure. He’d ignore the nausea no matter how productive it was, drink vast amounts of water before, during and after the ride, and burn up every last drop of alcohol consumed the night before as fuel for nonsensical sprints up merciless hills. That used to work fine when he was twenty-four, but at 5:45am on the morning after his fortieth birthday celebrations with Punter and Stephanie, too booze-fugged and uncoordinated to figure out how to turn off the alarm that chimed mockingly in his ear from the bedside table, Driver slapped the clock-radio to the carpeted floor and ignored it much more successfully than Minnie could. He fell immediately and precipitously back into a very deep sleep, satisfied with his rational decision to ride on Monday morning instead. Continue reading →

Top 5 Passengers in Driver’s Taxi

Posted on by
2
Megan Gale @ Australia's Next Top Model. Wikimedia Commons

Megan Gale @ Australia’s Next Top Model. Wikimedia Commons

A month ago I wrote a post about Driver’s Top 5 Top 5s – his five favourite Top 5 lists. Driver’s favourite 5 passengers was not one of the top 5 lists I nominated. That’s because:

  1. It should have been and I forgot
  2. I’m stupid
  3. It is in the nature of Top 5 lists that the selections will change
  4. All of the above

The answer doesn’t really matter because it’s the Top 5 I’m starting with. And I think it’s a good one. It will tell you something more about Driver – of all the people he’s had in his taxi, which 5 left the most lasting and meaningful impression? They might not be the most important, they might not be the most famous, but they are the ones that Driver wants to put in the Top 5, so their selection says more about him as they do about the renown of the passengers themselves. Continue reading →

6.1 Fare Game

Posted on by
4

Voice recording iconDriver and Minnie bought their drinks from the bar and quickly claimed a just vacated table as Punter and Steph arrived.

‘Drink?’ Driver asked, shaking Punter’s hand.

‘Hang on,’ Punter replied. ‘I can’t concentrate on anything else until I’ve kissed your wife.’ He made a show of shoving Driver aside, wrapping Minnie in his arms and kissing her full on the lips.

‘You alright, mate?’ Driver asked, although he was relieved to see him in such good spirits.

‘Second most beautiful woman in the world. What else am I gunna do?’ Continue reading →

1.3 Fare Game

Posted on by
Reply
Deutsch: Jack Nicholson bei der deutschen Film...

Film premiere The Bucket List, Berlin, 21 January 2008 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is the third instalment of Fare Game, the purpose of this blog. If you haven’t already, please
 ‘Follow mcphoenix via email’ to the right to receive notifications of each new instalment.

Earlier instalments are available by clicking links in the Archives or Categories boxes to the right of the page. Here’s a synopsis of what happened last time:

Yep, that’s Stephanie alright – off to ride Punter’s political adversary – Driver pulls up short to prevent carnage – lifelessness outside the cemetery – the cost of Driver’s advice – a plan of revenge is hatched

And so to Fare Game, the third instalment …

Until that instant Driver had no idea what he was going to say. But he couldn’t bare the sight of Punter so full of self-pity.

‘Well you’re acting like you might as well be dead, so why don’t you just jump the fence?’ Driver said. ‘Why don’t you just jump the fence now and get it over with? Pick a stone, lift the lid and cosy up to some corpse or other.’

Punter looked at him, slack-faced. ‘You say it makes you feel sick. Big fucken deal. Go take an Aspirin, or something.’

‘I know it’s not about me, you idiot.’ Driver said.  ‘Look, I’ll make it nice and simple for you. Nice and clear. You remember The Postman Always Rings Twice?’ he asked. ‘The ’82 version with Jessica Lange and Jack Nicholson. You remember that?’

Driver knew he was drawing an exceedingly long bow. He knew the analogy would leave them both no better than stumbling towards some kind of clarity. But it was the only thing he could think of. It was the only way he could see forward. And it was forward. At least, it seemed that way to Driver.

‘Oh, no. You’ve got to be kidding me!’ Punter replied. ‘Please Driver, please, this is serious. Most of the time I can forgive your film-driven pop psychology. Even accept it at some level. But not now. Please.’ Continue reading →